Snooping around…

will only lead to heartache.

Though sometimes it’s the only way to know the truth and in my case this is always true. Now I want to sleep and never wake up… or just go on a shooting rampage, I think that might make me feel better. I don’t think confronting him about what I found will do any good because I’ve tried that many times and it never works to my advantage or solves anything.

Actually, I think what would make me really happy is if by some kind of divine miracle he started telling the truth. And that he would genuinely feel sorry for hurting me instead of leading me on with “I love you”s and “You know I care for you”s. Lies. Those are just words and they can be said to any other girl at the same time. Which wouldn’t be out of the ordinary.

I’m such a fool! I think that’s what bothers me the most is the many times I found out the truth and then said I wasn’t going back but still did. And believing that he really actually was my best friend and soul mate. It’s the worst feeling when you find out that who you’ve come to trust the most in this world isn’t worthy of having your trust. I’ve found that no matter what I thought about the truth it’s still better than the lie.

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