a new regime, the rise of machines, this is a pixel revolution

I feel that I have the desire, a very strong desire, to do something great. And I don’t even know what but SOMETHING and it has to be great. But I lack the drive. Is that even possible? To have the desire but not actually do anything? Maybe that’s a contradiction. If I have a desire, and my desire was as strong as I say (or think), I would actually be making things happen. I’d be DOING something.

So, what’s holding me back? I guess that’s really the question. The right one anyway. Laziness? Fear of failure? Fear of hardwork? Which I suppose is the same as laziness.

I think what I really miss is the opportunity to not have anything to think about. I think being in college was when I did my best thinking, my best growing…

I think I attribute that to having so much free time. Free time to slack off and not use my brain for anything but selfish thoughts. These thoughts were mostly about my life. I thought a lot about who I was, how I got where I was and who/where I wanted to be and how to get there.

It’s possible that there’s a time and place for that kind of thinking and college is where it should all be done. But (and I don’t think this is any secret for anyone who knows me) I like to challenge expectations. What if I did this kind of thinking now? When I’m 26 years aged? What would happen then? How would I get to do that? Obviously I need to make money, I spend about 8-9 hours a day using my brain to… no, I spend 8-9 hours a day loaning my brain out to my employers, during this time my brain is working for them and not for me.

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So since I saw Star Trek on Thursday night (unofficial opening) I’ve been watching episodes of season 1 on YouTube.

Which is nerdy sure, but also lots of fun watching Sulu run around the U.S.S. Enterprise shirtless and wielding sword.

I’m spending the weekend down South (meaning the Southern outskirts of Los Angeles county) with family. Tracy and I made a cake for grandma’s birthday.

It’s strawberry lemonade cake with lemon cream cheese frosting and garnished with slices of strawberries. It was probably the closest thing to having a fruity cake as I would allow.

For some reason my family loves the horrible tasting “fruit cakes” meaning they have a layer (or two) of fruit in the center and topped with fruit and that fake horrible tasting frosting, if you can call it that.