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I have a copy of the Do Make Say think album Winter Hymn Country Hymn Secret Hymn. But I can’t listen to it because the CD is super scratched. I just remembered that through the magic of technology and sharing I can listen to it on Google Play.

I haven’t listened to the album in awhile because it reminds me of an ex boyfriend who introduced me to this band. We even went to a show to see them at the Troubadour. I was hesitant to go to the show because of the venue. I like it because it’s small, but it is mostly just standing room. As someone who is 5’4″ I have this condition that prohibits me from being able to see over anyone who is taller than 5’6″. Still, I wanted to make it seem like I was a normal person, like I was cool. So I went and decided to act like I was having a good time, but not too enthusiastically.

Anyway, my big takeaway from this show was remembering a feeling of belonging. This was mainly created by the band themselves. Their rapport with the audience was a welcoming one, they created a safe space. (There was one other time I felt like this at a show and it was when I saw Broken Social Scene in San Francisco.) At one point a member of the band spoke to the audience and recalled a Buddhist saying/concept on being born a human:

Imagine there was one life preserver thrown somewhere in some ocean and there is exactly one turtle in all of these oceans, swimming underwater somewhere. The probability that you came about and exist today is the same as that turtle sticking its head out of the water — in the middle of that life preserver. On one try.

I had to Google that, BTW.
Basically: everyone here at this show tonight is special and we should, collectively, appreciate that we’re all here together, today. What a fucking miracle.

I took the bait. I thought, “Yes. This. Is. Awesome.” That lasted for maybe just the rest of the night but it gave me a great feeling about myself and the world I live in.

Nowadays though, when someone says something like this on Facebook, I look at it, I think, “must be nice” and then I move on. Why? I’m starting to think it’s because I’m afraid of giving in fully. I do have one foot in the door of being a big hippie, but my other foot doesn’t want to leave the world that everyone else is living in. Mostly for fear that I’ll never be able to find my way back. I worry that I’ll loose consciousness of how I’ll sound and appear to those who aren’t also big hippies. I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t want to lose that self awareness or if it’s because deep down, I really care what people think.

And so it goes

David Bowie died this week. Cancer. He was 69.
Lemmy from Motörhead died a few weeks ago from cancer as well. I’ve only  heard one Motörhead song but a lot of my friends were very upset by this news. I was also sad by proxy.

A few days after David Bowie, maybe even a week later, Alan Rickman also died. At age 69, of cancer.

Currently I am too far past the point of sleepy to put together succinct thoughts about either so I will just leave it here for now. I hope, one day, people will remember me for the contributions I’ve made and be a person they admire.

What happens when a dreamer is born to parents who aren’t dreamers? When there’s no support for doing what dreamers do, what happens to that person? I can think of a few possible outcomes. One being that the dreamer continues to dream, despite a non-supportive parental unit, and eventually draws in other dreamers who are teachers, coaches, friends, other family members who support their dreams. 

Another way it could go is that the dreamer perseveres, alone. Letting the dreams come forward but suffering through life.

Or the pragmatists win and the dreams are suppressed, putting the resources toward achieving other goals. The dreamer is then afraid of dreaming, afraid to do what they want for fear of failure. That idea of failure that pragmatists have instilled in the hearts and minds of born dreamers who are now unable to feel right as a dreamer but are not actually pragmatists either. They like they are good at nothing.


So one year ago I heard about the Hyperloop through an article on Inhabitat

I guess Jan 3rd will be my annual progress report on the Hyperloop’s construction:

Elon Musk’s crazy Hyperloop idea is about to become reality

More of some things, less of others

I will post more blogs. Let’s say about once a week.

I will read more books, at least 12, I think.

I will travel more, and visit at least five new cities this year!

I will work out more. Five times a week ought to do it.

I will eat less food.

I will buy less clothes, shoes, purses. Limiting myself to one a month is probably adequate.

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