I Can’t Go With The Flow

It’s so safe to play along
Falling in an out of love
I want a new mistake
Loose is more than hesitate
Do you believe it in your head?

How do you make a decision? How can you move on when you are so comfortable and set in your ways? Nobody wants to be alone, and if you don’t have to be why would you choose it? I mean yes, I’m single but I don’t have to be….so why am I still single?

It would be easier to get back with someone than find someone new. Wouldn’t it? I don’t have to be by myself and I keep fighting something that comes so willingly and easily. It’s like a piece of cake that I don’t want but I don’t turn it down. It’s handed to me on a plate, a platter even, and I’m being begged to take it, and I do, but I’m nibbling at this one while I look for another piece. It’s not fair, but it’s not a secret and it’s what I’m doing, and every now and then I stop to think about it.

This is what I think about these days, and why I fight it, and why I would want it. The answers…well, they aren’t coming to me. I want to just give up the fight sometimes and let it be, but then I think “How sad would that be?” To go back to how it was? Things end for a reason and no matter how nice it feels it’s still going to be the same.

Modern Love for Modern Lovers

flurried feathers fall on Sundays
diamond flashes blind like sun rays
meetings in and out like tides
lovers stay another night

modern love for modern lovers
does someone special
erase all others?

quiet ones make smart remarks
expose their souls, only after dark
while secret glances give silent warnings
the truth is hidden again by morning

modern love for modern lovers
does someone special
erase all others?

time is in its adolescence
broken hearts are hard learned lessons
a regular occurrence in past and present
deceivers’ hearts hold no lament

modern love for modern lovers
you’ve found someone special
but there’s still time for others

Journal Poetry Day

I couldn’t find any recent poems but I found one that I wrote when I was 8, after I watched a PBS special about Emily Dickinson

Book of Horrors
I dare not read it
I dare not read the Book of Horrors
For if I do
The devil below will come and take me away
Angels above will not save me.
For if I do
I will find myself in the cemetery
The wolves will howl on the darkest night
I dare not read it
For if I do
Will see a ghost or two
Rising from the graves
Just like a funeral for me
I will look back and see my own stone reading
“Mitzi Young 1983-1991
Murdered, found in the cemetery”
and it might even happen to you!

I know, I was a pretty creepy little kid.

A Lesson For You

did you know
discreet = prudent, unnoticeable
discrete = separate or distinct?

fortunate = lucky (obviously)
but fortuitous = by chance, accidental….not related to fortunate

Anyone who says “ATM machine” (automatic teller machine machine?) or “PIN number” should be shot. Also, “free gift”… what’s that about? A gift should be free by definition.

tortuous = winding, crooked
torturous = unpleasant, painful (think “torture”)
don’t mix those up kids.

I’m a freak.

You Were Only Waiting For This Moment To Arrive

I’ll be submitting my SFSU application soon, and my CSULB one too, but if I go to LB I’ll have to live at home for another two years and

please. god.

don’t let that happen. I can’t stand it anymore.

I’m talking about my little sister here. I love her and I would die if something ever happened to her but I feel like she is my freakin’ daughter and not my sister. I pick her up from school, I’m expected to help her do her homework, my parents don’t discipline her so I have to do it, and I take her out places (movies, Disneyland, etc). I could very well be her mother… some people at her school think that I am her mother. I would like to have my own life, one that I choose and not one that is handed to me.

I still feel like I’m in middle school, my parents won’t “let me” do anything! They’ve been more chill about it lately, but my curfew is still mainly 10 p.m., although sometimes it can be stretch to 11 or 12, I can’t spend the night at anyone’s house EVER. They’ve only recently started letting me go on trips with my friends.

Okay that is my story.