The Dream

I’m living in a three story house, it’s made of stainless steel and thick glass. On one side of the house is a large whale tank, where Belugas swim and play in our windows. The other side of the house is facing the ocean, the beach, the sun. Inside the house remains cool while the weather outside is warm and summery all year round except for an occasional scary, but fun, storm.

The rooms are different colors. We have a blue bathroom, a white one, a mint green guest room, a red, black and grey living room, the kitchen is silver, and the master bedroom changes from clean linen to a deep, brooding crimson when needed. More rooms will be added later.

Music is always playing. Like the colors, it changes from room to room. The bathrooms play whatever the occupant wishes, the living room plays chill house music low enough to talk over, the kitchen plays upbeat jazz, the guest room plays Enya and Sade, the master bedroom plays whatever fits the mood, automatically. Right now it is playing Fiona Apple’s Paper Bag

I have all the money I need, but not excess. I’m healthy and happy. I enjoy swimming in our pool, designing clothes, having lunch with friends and hosting dinner parties. My man is kind to everyone, passionate, mysteriously handsome, and extremely creative. He understands when I am feeling blue and does not always know the answers to all my questions. We don’t have any children besides our cat (an orange tabby named Milo) and two dogs (a stout little Pug, named Otis, and a Rottweiler, named Simon).

This is my story. Someday, if I am meant to be happy…it will happen.

Nice Girls Finish Last

I know nice guys finish last but is it the same with girls?

I’ve tried being the nice girl, the good girl. Polite, always smiles sweetly, not too loud or obnoxious….I get stepped on.

I’ve tried being feisty and fun, the bad girl, the party girl…I get used.

Finals are basically over and yet I can’t get the weight off my chest. It’s like there is something lurking in the corner of my heart, weighing it down and I can’t see it because of all the fog and spiderwebs.

So what exactly are the benefits of mind altering drugs again? I’ve never done them and I’m wondering if they’ll help.