Category: personal

Posted on

Links & Things

Okay, a few things: last night I went out to Radbull… heh, typo but I think I’ll leave it. I meant REDbull HQ in Santa Monica for a viewing party of a new BMX Ride DVD. Brought my camera because I had heard that their offices are phat. They totally are, dude.

front entrance

see more here

This Saturday I’m heading to CA Boom (is that supposed to be pronounced “kaboom”?) with Erin and her mum. I’ll probably take lots of pics and blog about it, although I’m really bad at remembering everything I see and think is cool. We’ll see what I can remember, maybe I’ll take notes.

Here come the links!

Milton said we should get this for the office. I agree.  It will add a new level of professionalism.

Capricia sent me this and I saw what everyone else didn’t see, but failed to do what was instructed. Does that mean I won? Or did I lose? I think it means I am cyclist friendly, which I know I am. 🙂

Posted on

If That’s The Way It Is, Then That’s The Way It Is

Yesterday I spent some time thinking about “the past.”

For some reason the past always seems to be filled with more fondness than the present. It doesn’t matter which past it is. My theory is that because years are condensed into a small portion of my memory I only have room for things I want to remember and those are either pure fun or pure sadness. Things happening now are spread out over a longer period of time… I guess it’s like defragmenting your computer. There are huge gaps between the important information in the present so it takes awhile to recall the good times. When the memory has been defragmented the memories are more concentrated in the area they are given. There is a higher joy/pain to space ratio.

I always seem to want to go back to “the past.” I want to revisit those feelings. I want physically be in the memories I hold in my mind. I try to do that but as we all know, “you can never go back.” And I know this. I know it will never be the same again, but I think I’d still like to try and create some new memories while I’m at it.

more after the jump

Posted on

I Used No Caps

and just to offset the last post, I’ll post this one which is dated March 8, 2005 @ 7:14 p.m.

*sigh*

it’s been one of those days…no, not one of those days but one of those days when i think “i guess the world doesn’t suck balls so much”

i mean i woke up, and that was kind of sucky because i have nice dreams.

then i went to school and had to take a test…but it was ok because i sat next to a boy with pretty eyes and we both knew nothing about anything.

in my finance class i actually knew what the fuck was going on even though i skipped out on class last thursday.

i met up with my advertsising group and schooled them on MP3 players, in a nice way. i like knowing shit.

some random guy stopped me in the subway/MUNI and asked me for my number.

then i get home and the roomates’ kitty loves me and i get an e-mail that makes me happy.

didn’t even have to use my A.K.

Posted on

Memories Long Since Past

For the past four (almost five) years I’ve kept an online journal elsewhere. Every now and then I like to go back and read the entries. It’s a pretty good time line and some times it’s fun to look back. I usually find myself pretty amusing and wonder why I’m no longer as funny or witty. Of course, now I’m wondering if I’ll look back at this entry and think the same thing.

I’ve decided that I’m going to periodically copy and paste entries from that blog to this one. Just to make sure there’s a backup copy somewhere. The ramblings of 20 year old me can be very entertaining and sometimes enlightening.

Now, I’ve kept personal handwritten journals ever since I learned how to write, but I’ll probably never go and consolidate these into one large volume or even transcribe them into electronic form. Mostly this is because it’s extremely time consuming but also because I’m sure most of it is mundane. Although, there are probably a few pivotal moments in my life of which I’d probably like some kind of personal recollection.

Let’s start with this one that was dated December 1, 2004 @ 8:50 A.M. I’m choosing this one because I feel like this is where I started. This is around the time I started making decisions and learning about things the hard way. Continue reading “Memories Long Since Past”

Posted on

Still Waiting

I’m sitting at LAX. I missed my 6:25 flight to SFO so tomorrow morning at 6:30 I’m going to be on standby to get on that flight.

Suddenly I’m 11 again. I’m alone with a book and headphones. I have no friends, nobody is coming to pick me up and take me home where i have something to eat, where I can watch T.V. or take a nap on the sofa, where I can play with my toys (still alone but I can imagine I’m not). I’m sitting (or probably laying) anywhere it’s sunny cause I’m probably cold, reading a book. Back then it would have been Goosebumps, Babysitters Club or something in the magic/fantasy genre. Now it’s Chuck Palahniuk’s Choke.

Being here, alone, waiting, makes me feel vulnerable and small, like I was back then. I want to fold into myself and be left to my own devices. I wish I had a warm attic for a stormy evening, I’m thinking of The Neverending Story.

I know it probably sounds lonely and depressing, and it was actually, but now it’s comforting. It’s something I know and something that I know won’t change unless I want it to change. Waiting for something to come, either my dad or the end of my book.